Poker Ghosting Definition

By Kristi Muller

'Ghosting' – the act of disappearing in a phantom like fashion from someone you are seeing is a term that made national headlines in 2015, and is surely on track to be seen in Merriam-Webster soon.

A black dog is a motif of a spectral or demonic entity found primarily in the folklore of the British Isles.The black dog is essentially a nocturnal apparition, in some cases a shapeshifter, and is often said to be associated with the Devil or described as a ghost or supernatural hellhound. There's a huge difference between ghosting which is generally allowed if there isn't a 'one player to a hand' rule and having multiple players in the same room, playing the same tournaments or cash game tables. Stars should definitely try to do more against the latter one.

Ghosting is a behavior prevalent in today's dating world in which a person who was actively engaged with another - simply disappears.

Ghosting denies someone else of closure so that they can move on, and learn from the experience. It's a disrespectful behavior that is quickly becoming a cultural norm for those in the dating world. But hey – I guess Ghosters assume there are 'plenty of other fish in the sea'?

It's typical that people may engage in certain behaviors in their personal life that they would never bring into the workplace – but will ghosting become professionally acceptable?

Has ghosting made its way into the professional world?

We work in recruitment, and to provide some context, 95% of our candidates are working, and not interviewing with other companies. We do have to compel and court them, and sometimes, our opportunity isn't going to be 'better', and that's okay. 'No' is a perfectly acceptable answer.

We have seen a rapidly rising trend towards professional ghosting.

In our 20 year history, we can count on one hand (or less) the number of people who didn't give us proper closure – a definitive 'Yes' or 'No. We may have seen that same number in the past 2 months of 2015!

I am not talking about post first screening ghosting, I am talking about at or post offer ghosting. Candidates, who are educated, professional, with a strong track record, demonstrate stability - who interview with multiple parties within a potential new employer, verbalizing that they are sold all along the way – going so far as to verbally accept an offer – and then – disappearing.

Here are some of the comments made by our clients about ghosters:

• 'Unwillingness to follow through'
• 'Flawed decision making processes'
• 'Inability to handle conflict'
• 'Disregard for reputation'
• 'Underestimating the importance of the professional network'

The result for the person doing the ghosting?

A certain DO NOT HIRE status in the ATS for the company in which they interviewed – but that's not all.

It's a small world out there in a professional circle. A person's network is important. There are not 'plenty of fish in the sea'. At some point in a career the degrees of separation from anyone in a given field diminishes. One of those 4-5 managers, or employees they met along the way, are sure to go to a competitor at some point – and now the perception of the ghosting candidate travels with them.

What is the motivation behind ghosting?

Why is saying 'No' so difficult? These days, you can even text or email 'No'? Why are candidates engaging in behavior that could self-sabotage their career?

We are professional closers with 20+ years in the business and this is a brand new theme we are seeing. We get it that:

Do not worry, though; we have all the required information for every single no deposit bonus and for every single casino. The only thing you will have to do, besides claiming a free bonus, is to check out the details. There are two different types of no deposit bonuses on offer. These are typically free chips time limit, and no deposit spins. A no deposit mobile free spins bonus is similar to a no deposit mobile casino bonus, except that instead of free bonus credits, players are awarded an amount of free spins to use on one or more online slots without having to make a deposit. The number of free spins awarded varies from casino to casino, but can range from 10 up to 100 free spins. No deposit bonuses are a promotion given by online casinos to attract new players. These bonuses usually take the form of free credit, which can be used to bet on various games, or the form of several prepaid spins on certain slots. No-deposit bonuses are usually given as a gift to attract new players. Free no deposit bonus online mobile casino.

1. It means the person wasn't really sold on the job, even though they said they were.
2. We somehow didn't meet their needs along the way.

But how do we see this coming? When a person is immediately returning every call and text, telling you all the things they are excited about, giving you only minor concerns, if any, that are easily addressed by providing more information – accepting an offer and giving a proposed start date – everything but signing on the dotted line!

Poker Ghosting Definition Real Estate

What is the solution?

Poker Ghosting Definition History

Here are some things we have tried in our firm:

• Shortening our interview to offer time - to get them while they are engaged and ready.
• Lengthening our interview to offer time – to build a stronger relationship/increase engagement.
• Scouring the internet for any signs of poor reputation within our client companies.
• Including more feedback loops, where we focus questioning around areas of concern, counter offers, other opportunities that may have surfaced.
• Having 2-3 leaders from our client company call post offer for a 'welcome call' and to address any concerns.
• Giving them deadlines to sign.
• Giving them more time to sign.
• Giving them the easy out 'hey just shoot me a text so I can close the loop with the client for you – and let's stay in touch for the future'.

In all cases – we are getting 'yes', 'yes' and more 'yes – I am in' - to both us, and our client, and then like a ghost – they are gone!

The irony is that these same candidates are circling back 1-3 months later saying they made a mistake. Had they told us 'no' we could absolutely get them back in! Given the ghosting situation – we have no choice but to give them that definitive 'No' that they weren't willing to give us.

We would love to hear from other recruiters or hiring managers:

Have you seen an increase in ghosting in your hiring process?

Do you work in a niche that has dealt with this issue for some time?

What do you think is driving it?

What are the solutions you are looking at?

Will ghosting become an accepted professional behavior?

Kristi Muller is Managing Partner with Corporate Talent Resources, a retained and project based recruitment services firm. She serves as an Advisor for the upcoming film Top Recruiter: Reign of the Bosses, and is featured in the upcoming industry docufilms 'Art of Recruiting' and 'Talent Attraction'.

Connect with Kristi on LinkedIn, or follow on Twitter @kristictr and @corptalentres

Ghosting is a colloquial term used to describe the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said partner, friend, or individual.^[1][2] The term originated in the early 2000s. In the following decade, media reported a rise in ghosting, which has been attributed to the increasing use of social media and online dating apps.

Origin of term[edit]

The term is used in the context of online exchanges,^[3] and became popular by 2015 through numerous articles on high-profile celebrity relationship dissolutions,^[4][5] and went on to be widely used. It has been the subject of numerous articles^[6] and discussions^[7] on dating and relationships in various media. It was included in the Collins English Dictionary in 2015.^[8]

In popular culture[edit]

Ghosting appears to be becoming more common.^[9][10] Various explanations have been suggested, but social media is often blamed,^[11] as are dating apps and the relative anonymity and isolation in modern-day dating and hookup culture, which make it easier to sever contact with few social repercussions.^[12] In addition, the more commonplace the behaviour becomes, the more individuals can become desensitised to it.^[13] Others have suggested that it is due to the decline of empathy in society, along with the promotion of a more selfish, narcissistic culture.^[14]

Ghosting is not limited to only intimate relationship contexts. It can also happen between friends or even family members,^[15] and be practiced by employers with prospective candidates.

In personal relationships[edit]

Poker Ghosting Definition History

Here are some things we have tried in our firm:

• Shortening our interview to offer time - to get them while they are engaged and ready.
• Lengthening our interview to offer time – to build a stronger relationship/increase engagement.
• Scouring the internet for any signs of poor reputation within our client companies.
• Including more feedback loops, where we focus questioning around areas of concern, counter offers, other opportunities that may have surfaced.
• Having 2-3 leaders from our client company call post offer for a 'welcome call' and to address any concerns.
• Giving them deadlines to sign.
• Giving them more time to sign.
• Giving them the easy out 'hey just shoot me a text so I can close the loop with the client for you – and let's stay in touch for the future'.

In all cases – we are getting 'yes', 'yes' and more 'yes – I am in' - to both us, and our client, and then like a ghost – they are gone!

The irony is that these same candidates are circling back 1-3 months later saying they made a mistake. Had they told us 'no' we could absolutely get them back in! Given the ghosting situation – we have no choice but to give them that definitive 'No' that they weren't willing to give us.

We would love to hear from other recruiters or hiring managers:

Have you seen an increase in ghosting in your hiring process?

Do you work in a niche that has dealt with this issue for some time?

What do you think is driving it?

What are the solutions you are looking at?

Will ghosting become an accepted professional behavior?

Kristi Muller is Managing Partner with Corporate Talent Resources, a retained and project based recruitment services firm. She serves as an Advisor for the upcoming film Top Recruiter: Reign of the Bosses, and is featured in the upcoming industry docufilms 'Art of Recruiting' and 'Talent Attraction'.

Connect with Kristi on LinkedIn, or follow on Twitter @kristictr and @corptalentres

Ghosting is a colloquial term used to describe the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said partner, friend, or individual.^[1][2] The term originated in the early 2000s. In the following decade, media reported a rise in ghosting, which has been attributed to the increasing use of social media and online dating apps.

Origin of term[edit]

The term is used in the context of online exchanges,^[3] and became popular by 2015 through numerous articles on high-profile celebrity relationship dissolutions,^[4][5] and went on to be widely used. It has been the subject of numerous articles^[6] and discussions^[7] on dating and relationships in various media. It was included in the Collins English Dictionary in 2015.^[8]

In popular culture[edit]

Ghosting appears to be becoming more common.^[9][10] Various explanations have been suggested, but social media is often blamed,^[11] as are dating apps and the relative anonymity and isolation in modern-day dating and hookup culture, which make it easier to sever contact with few social repercussions.^[12] In addition, the more commonplace the behaviour becomes, the more individuals can become desensitised to it.^[13] Others have suggested that it is due to the decline of empathy in society, along with the promotion of a more selfish, narcissistic culture.^[14]

Ghosting is not limited to only intimate relationship contexts. It can also happen between friends or even family members,^[15] and be practiced by employers with prospective candidates.

In personal relationships[edit]

Ghosting may be especially hurtful to those on the receiving end, causing feelings of ostracism and rejection. Some mental health professionals consider ghosting to be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse, a type of silent treatment or stonewalling behaviour, and emotional cruelty.^[13]

In his article, 'In Defense of Ghosting', Alexander Abad-Santos states: 'the thing that undermines these diatribes against ghosting is that..[we] know what happened with their ghost. It just didn't work out and sometimes we just can't accept it.'^[16] He continues: '[a]t the heart of it, ghosting is as clear as any other form of rejection. The reason we complain about it is because we wanted a different outcome .. which is totally understandable.'^[16]

However, this argument does not account for the inherent ambiguity in ghosting—the person being ghosted does not know whether they are being rejected for something they or somebody else did, whether the person doing it is ashamed or does not know how to break up (or is scared of hurting the other's feelings). Also the ghost may simply not want to date the victim anymore, or may have started dating someone else while keeping the ghostee as a reserve option in case a relationship does not work out with that other date, as well as they can be facing serious problems in their lives. It may become impossible to tell which it is, making it stressful and painful.^[17]

Related terms and behaviors[edit]

While 'ghosting' refers to 'disappearing from a special someone's life mysteriously and without explanation',^[18] numerous similar behaviors have been identified, that include various degrees of continued connection with a target.^[19][20][21] For example, 'Caspering' is a 'friendly alternative to ghosting. Instead of ignoring someone, you're honest about how you feel, and let them down gently before disappearing from their lives.'^[22] A possible response to ghosting has been suggested with 'ghostbusting': forcing the 'ghoster' to reply.^[23] Then there is the sentimental and positive, but also ghost-related in origin, Marleying, which is 'when an ex gets in touch with you at Christmas out of nowhere'. 'Cloaking' is another related behavior^[24] that occurs when an online match blocks you on all apps while standing you up for a date. The term was coined by Mashable journalist Rachel Thompson after she was stood up for a date by a Hinge match and blocked on all apps.^[25]

Research[edit]

In 2014, a YouGov survey was taken to see if Americans have ever ghosted their partner to end a relationship. In a 2014 survey, 1,000 US adults were interviewed about ghosting with results yielding that just over 10% of Americans have ghosted someone to break up with them.^[26]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

1. ^Safronova, Valeriya (2015-06-26). 'Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment'. The New York Times. ISSN0362-4331. Retrieved 2020-02-10.
2. ^'Where Did the Term 'Ghosted' Come From? Origin of the Web's Favorite Term for Abandonment'. Mic. Retrieved 2020-02-10.
3. ^Bartz, Andrea & Ehrlich, Brenna (April 14, 2011). 'Don't be offended by online-dating rejection'. Netiquette. CNN.CS1 maint: uses authors parameter (link)
4. ^Edwards, Stassa. 'Charlize Theron Broke Up With Sean Penn By Ghosting Him'. Jezebel. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
5. ^'Charlize Theron Gets a Black Belt in Ghosting'. The Cut. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
6. ^'The Common 21st-Century Dating Problem No One Knows How To Deal With'. The Huffington Post. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
7. ^Safronova, Valeriya (2015-06-26). 'Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment'. The New York Times. ISSN0362-4331. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
8. ^''Ghosting' is now in the dictionary - so is dating etiquette dead?'. The Independent. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
9. ^Perel, Esther (2015). Stable Ambiguity and the Rise of Ghosting, Icing and Simmering.
10. ^'I Asked Men Why They Ghosted Me'. VICE. United States. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
11. ^'PsycNET - DOI Landing page'. doi:10.1037/1089-2699.8.4.291.Cite journal requires |journal= (help)
12. ^'And Then I Never Heard From Him Again: The Awful Rise of Ghosting'. The Date Report. Archived from the original on 2014-08-20. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
13. ^ ^ab'Why Ghosting Hurts So Much'. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
14. ^'It's time to bring back relationship accountability'. Be Lucky In Love. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
15. ^'I Was Ghosted by One of My Closest Friends'. Cosmopolitan. 2015-08-27. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
16. ^ ^abAbad-Santos, Alexander (24 March 2014). 'In Defense of Ghosting'. The Atlantic. Retrieved 9 June 2018.
17. ^'Why Ghosting Hurts So Much'. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
18. ^Peters, Mark. 'How Tinder and OKCupid spawned a new genre of slang'. Boston Globe.
19. ^Lanquist, Lindsey (September 29, 2017). 'Breadcrumbing, Stashing, and Other Internet Dating Slang I Wish You Didn't Need to Know'. Self.
20. ^Swantek, Samantha. 'Breadcrumbing Is the New Ghosting and It's Savage AF'. Cosmopolitan.
21. ^Alves, Glynda (May 15, 2018). 'Breadcrumbing, orbiting and more: Update your dating dictionary with these new-age terms'. Economic Times. India.
22. ^Benwell, Max (1 March 2018). 'Ghosting, Caspering and six new dating terms you've never heard of'. The Guardian. Retrieved 9 June 2018.
23. ^Benwell, Max (1 March 2018). 'Ghosting, Caspering and six new dating terms you've never heard of'. The Guardian. Retrieved 9 June 2018.
24. ^Dermentzi, Maria. ''I was cloaked.' What it's like to be blocked and stood up by your Hinge date'. Mashable. Retrieved 2019-05-11.
25. ^Thompson, Rachel. 'My Hinge match invited me to dinner and blocked me as I waited for our table'. Mashable. Retrieved 2019-05-11.
26. ^'Poll Results: Ghosting | YouGov'. today.yougov.com. Retrieved 2020-02-10.